


Ghosts Of Our Fathers

by Daggoo, Lokisgame



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Developing Friendships, Episode: s01e13 Beyond the Sea, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, X-Files OctoberFicFest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daggoo/pseuds/Daggoo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokisgame/pseuds/Lokisgame
Summary: “My father died five hours ago” she finally said, gathering the rest of her will and strength, before she squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip to stop the sobs. Saying it out loud for the third time made it irreversible and real.





	Ghosts Of Our Fathers

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to Daggoo, who helped develop the outline. This wouldn’t exist with you.

The doorbell rang and she climbed of the ladder, careful not to break any bones in the process. She was expecting the call, unofficially of course. She’d never call Mulder out on bothering her at home, she knew better than that. He was terrible with boundaries and living with it was apparently a part of the job. Scully looked at the window, half dressed in green garland and red ribbons and thought about risking some payback.  
“Coming!” She called when the knocking paused for a second, and sure enough, there was Mulder, nose red, warm woolen mittens and a file folder in hand.  
“Good evening, I hope I’m not interrupting anything” he said looking around noticing the boxes and ladder and the half dressed tree.  
“No, you’re not, but can I ask you a favor?” He looked a little unsure but he was already inside and it wouldn’t be polite to run away from your partner.  
“Of course, what do you need?”  
“I need a pair of long arms” she smiled and he couldn’t just let that slide.  
“You’d think medicine would find a cure for that by now” he joked as she took his coat.  
“It’s on the list, right after cancer and bad sense of humor” he grinned in a touché sort of way and spread his arms  
“What do you need me to do”  
“Can you climb on that ladder and pin the garland over the curtains? I’ve been at it for almost an hour and I can’t see it when I’m up there, climbing up and down”  
“Say no more Scully, just tell me when it looks right”  
“Thanks”  
He climbed the ladder and pulled what needed to be pulled, moved and loosened, pined and tugged, following instructions surprisingly well, given their history of working together.  
“You must really love Christmas, Scully” he said pinning a red ribbon she handed to him to the garland.  
“My favorite time of the year, you don’t?” She chanced, ready for an evasive remark or a joking comment.  
“I’m half jewish, half atheist, so not really, Christmas was more of a social event when my parent still did social things” he paused, and Scully realized this wasn’t exactly the most comfortable subject “my dad was the one, who was most vehemently against the idea, claiming it was a waste of time.”  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked” she lowered her gaze, suddenly very interested in the pattern of her carpet.  
“It’s okay, with Sam gone, no one was exactly in the mood to celebrate anything without her” his tone confirmed, that he wasn’t offended but she wasn’t sure if she was comforted “one thing’s for sure, even if the moods were sour, the dinner on those days was always a bit more special”  
“My dad always made us take the tree down a day after Christmas” she said out of the blue, knowing the second she said it, that she had nothing to complain about next to Mulder’s story “now I keep it up at least until Three Kings”  
“You go girl, show him who’s boss” they both laughed as Mulder pinned the last bow in the corner of the window and climbed down, eager to help now that he was already at it “What else you need long arms for around here?”  
“Nothing, that’s all, thank you” she smiled sweetly and took the safety pins from his hands “what’s in the file?”  
“Oh, just some last minute details from our arson case, if you’re still interested” Mulder passed her the file.  
As he did, he spotted an angel still in her box, waiting to take her place of honor on top of the tree. Without waiting for Scully to say so, he took the ornament out and lifted it silently asking her approval. She looked up from the file and nodded with a small smile so he placed the angel on top of the tree, smoothing down her skirts and straightening gold wings.  
“The man heals uncommonly fast” she noted paging through the file, looking at blood work and notes of the attending physician.  
“Yeah, it’s unfair that this scum gets to live when good people have died for his twisted fantasies”  
“He won’t get much of a life either way” seeing there was nothing more to do, he went to the door and she followed.  
“We’ll make sure of that” he assured her taking the coat from her hands.  
“My parents are coming to dinner sometime after Christmas, maybe you’d like to join us?” Scully tried to make it sound like no big deal, but Mulder the profiler saw right through her charity.  
“Thank you, but maybe some other time, enjoy your family time, Dana” she looked up, a little surprised by this breach of protocol, but his smile was also different from the one she knew, softer, open even “just remember me if there’s some leftover pie”  
He winked his funny slow wink, twisting the scarf around his neck, a choking hazard if anyone asked her.  
“I’ll see you after the holidays” he said, resting one hand on her arm in a friendly farewell “Merry Christmas”  
“Happy Hanukah Mulder” that made him chuckle.  
“Thanks, I’ll see you around”  
“Bye”  
She stared after him as he walked down the corridor and couldn’t stop herself from having the last word “Drive safely, it’s an ice rink out there”  
He didn’t turn, but she could feel the smile in the wave of his hand. 

_____________

 

She finally convinced her mother to take something to calm her neves and help her sleep for at least a couple hours. Now Maggie was curled under a blanket on her bed and the clock was approaching 4am. She shut the bedroom door and went back to the couch. Her tea went cold and only light came from the tree she left on before any of the nights tragic events happened. The dinner they had just a few hours ago felt like a whole different lifetime.  
She had a long day ahead of her, arrangements to be made, people to notify. Bill and Missy already knew and she couldn’t reach Charlie, for which she was secretly grateful because these were the two hardest calls she had to make in her entire life.  
Still, there was one more call she needed to make tonight. She didn’t fear she’d wake him, he called her at the oddest hours more than once. Dialing Scully took a deep breath to calm her voice and thoughts, this was a business call.  
“Mulder” he sounded sleepy, she did wake him and instantly felt guilty. Too late to hang up now, so in hushed voice, for her mother’s sake, not because her confidence was someplace far away, she answered “It’s me”  
“Scully? What time is it? Did something happen?” She tried to convince herself that she didn’t drop her mask, it was the early hour in his voice not concern, this was business.  
“No” she shook her head as if he could see her and realized the stupidity of that lie before she finished the one syllable “I mean yes, I won’t be able to make it to the office tomorrow, today” she corrected herself and her voice failed her at the end. Mulder picked up on it instantly.  
“Are you okay?” There it was again, the urgency, the need to know everything.  
“I’m” her voice got lost somewhere, probably went looking for confidence, she felt tears rolling down her cheeks, Mulder waited patiently.  
“My father died five hours ago” she finally said, gathering the rest of her will and strength, before she squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip to stop the sobs. Saying it out loud for the third time made it irreversible and real.  
“Oh Scully, I’m so sorry” his warm voice fought it’s way through her tears and hit home. Pressing the receiver to her ear she let the tears flow, silently listening to his words of comfort “if is there anything I can do, just say the word. You have someone there with you? I can come over. Don’t worry about work, that doesn’t matter right now. Please, tell me if you need anything, anything at all”  
She finally took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down, wiping the tears with a clean, paper tissue she pulled from a box under the coffee table.  
“Thank you” feeling as if she spoke for the first time in months, her words sounded alien but calm “I’ll manage, I’m not alone, my mother is here”  
“Okay, but my offer still stands” Scully nodded, though again he couldn’t see her, words were still coming and going and speaking was a little beyond her right now. She moved to lean against the armrest and sinking deeper into the couch, spotted the angel on top of the tree and remembered Mulder putting her up and father mentioning the needles and mess. Mulder’s voice was a soothing hum in her ear and she was beginning to relax “you said he was a navy captain, they can arrange the funeral for you, I have a friend there, I can call him”  
“Mulder, I appreciate it, but my mother hasn’t decided anything yet” there it was, her voice and her calm, reoriented on his voice and ready to stand her ground. Not unkindly, he simply was her new normal and holding on to that, she could for a moment feel like herself again.  
“Whatever you say, but let me know if you change your mind” he was a good man, crazy, but good, her father...  
“You know, my dad never approved of me leaving medicine to join FBI”  
She heard the leather sofa creak on the other end of the line, a deep sigh.  
“Neither did mine, he never approved of my determination to find Sam, he said I was hurting mom bringing it up all the time”  
“But it never stopped you from searching”  
“No, neither did it make me stop wanting to please him somehow” she puled a blanket over herself and watched the tree, the angel there, her flowing skirts, Mulder’s voice soft in her ear “somehow, I imagined that if I could find her, we could be a family again”  
“You love this job and you will find her, we’ll find her” she could feel sleep calling her with his voice.  
“Yeah” was it hope she heard, or doubt, her mind was too foggy to decide “go to sleep Scully, come back when you’re ready, I’m really sorry for your loss, pass my condolences to the rest of your family”  
A mumbled thank you was all she could manage.  
“Good night” he said softly, but she couldn’t remember saying it back. 

____________

 

Woken by the scent of coffee and bacon, her mother bustling around the kitchen, making breakfast for what looked like a platoon not two women grieving and with no appetite for food. Scully understood completely, it gave her something to do, a purpose other than seeing to the funeral. This was a connection to the living, living who still needed her. It was always her purpose, to live for others. Scully ate her food, like the obedient daughter she was.  
Maggie Scully decided to bury her husband with love. The arrangements were made through the funeral home, the ceremony was to be simple, only the family, the ashes given back to the waves and the winds. No one knew better than her, that those three were his only love in life, the navy was just a mean to an end.  
That second night, when Scully finally had the time to feel the loss was terrible. She cried and cried and even warm arms of her mother couldn’t stop the tears from falling. A card came with flowers from Mulder, and it now rested securely inside her pocket. 

“May the winds take away your sorrow,  
May the water wash away your tears,  
The ones’ we lost still live within our memory.”

She didn’t sleep well, troubled dreams plagued her all night. She couldn’t get the vision out of her mind, she was sure she saw Ahab in a chair speaking to her, before she got the news. She was sure she saw something like that in Mulder’s files and she needed to understand. She couldn’t sit at home and watch the time go by, she needed to work. She needed to get out and feel normal even for just a few hours.

“I didn’t think you’d be in today” he ignored her quip completely, honestly concerned “how are you Dana”  
Still Dana, even for Mulder, the way he spoke her name came close to piercing her carefully constructed defenses.  
“I’m fine, thank you” she tried to smile and succeeded, determined to make this day as normal as possible. 9am office, Noon funeral, 2pm, back at the office or whatever they might have planned. It was the only way she could keep herself together, otherwise the grief would bury her at home for days. Just because she didn’t show them, it didn’t mean she didn’t have any feelings. She felt them deeply, but there was time and place for everything, this was work, and she counted on Mulder to proceed accordingly.  
“What are you working on?” her voice didn’t crack, she could do this.  
He presented the case as usual and it really worked, for a moment. He did try one last time to convince her to sit this one out, but in the end accepted her choice.  
“I need to work”  
“I’m sorry about your father” His hand rested on her cheek and there was comfort in his touch, strength and understanding, both for her grief and the way she wanted to cope with it.  
They set out for Raleigh, North Carolina, to face the ghosts of Mulder’s past and for the first time it was Mulder who seemed skeptical. 

_______

 

Luther Lee Boggs was evil incarnate, ruthless killer and a liar, not even Mulder could trust him. Yet she saw him change, she heard the song, how could he do that? How could he know, Beyond The Sea, Starbuck, those were things even Mulder didn’t know.  
She sat in her hotel room surrounded by the restless sea and thought about the ghosts she saw, a ghost who still wasn’t speaking.  
She had to tell Mulder, he was her partner, she had to tell him how she found the warehouse because the lie was weighing on her heavily. His anger still took her by surprise.

“The bureau would expect something like that from “Spooky’ Mulder, but not Dana Scully” he lashed out and immediately felt guilty, the hurt in her eyes made him take a step back. He didn’t believe that, not from her, not really.  
“I thought that you’d be pleased that I opened myself to extreme possibilities” he would be, if for once they’d agree on something.  
“Why now? After all we’ve seen, why Boggs?” Mulder felt like he was missing some crucial detail “Does this have to do with your father?”  
Scully shook her head looking away and finally her body language said something he could understand. Her feelings were still raw and he wanted to help her, but he wasn’t ready to die if something happened because she was distracted. He reached for reasonable arguments, something she couldn’t deny or outright dismiss as his brand of nonsense.  
“You said he didn’t approve of you becoming an FBI agent. If being on the job now makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable or uneasy, I think you should back away” she finally looked at him, and he saw that she heard what he was trying to say.  
“Because if it’s clouding your judgment, you’re putting yourself in danger” _and I don’t want to lose a partner to this wormtongue’d monster_  
“I love this job” she said softly, hear voice breakingm. Admitting weakness was never easy, he knew that better than anyone. And that’s why she needed to trust him, take a step back and look at all the facts.  
“You love your father”  
Two days ago he could be her friend and her partner, he wanted that back, he wanted to trust her. She needed her strength back, and he needed his partner. She could be human around him if that’s what she needed to get back on her feet and he wouldn’t think any less of her for it.  
As she walked away he saw a glimpse of the human she fought so hard to contain and spoke to that part of her who needed a friend. Her first name seemed to be the key to the door that separated the woman from the FBI agent, and it surely caught her attention.  
“Dana, open yourself up to extreme possibilities only when they’re the truth. That goes for Luther Boggs and your father”  
Mulder watched her and saw she was becoming Scully again, the pieces of her were falling back into place. What she needed was to acknowledge her feelings, and know that her little relapse into humanity didn’t mean he thought her incapable of performing her duties. They had their moment and now it was time to get back to business.  
“As for Luther Boggs, he’s the greatest of lies” he moved to sit next to her and she was there, behind those wet, ocean blue eyes, a woman of steel, reason and skill, already healing “I know he’s working with someone on the outside and they planted that evidence”  
“Now, we have to be very careful about planing our next move” he was using all his psychology tricks and for once was glad to use them to help someone in need, and she needed to feel that she’s still a part of the team “because he’s five steps ahead. The one advantage we have is time”  
And time was running out quickly.

___________

 

They found the girl, but at what cost? A white cross stained with Mulder’s blood.  
She watched him covered in blood, barely conscious and the prospect of losing another close person filled her with dread and anger like she never knew before. To be led by the nose by a liar and a murderer, set up to play his game like puppets, and she let him do it! If Mulder dies, she will kill Boggs herself.  
Mulder tried to warn her, _he’ll try to claim you as his last victim, don’t deal with him Scully_. The judge was against it, a timely death was all he would offer.  
But she did it, she lied again, for the greater good, she reasoned with herself. Knowing, that as soon as she gets the information out of him, and her lie will come out, her last chance to hear the last words from her father would be gone. Forever. She chose what she felt was right.  
And the more she thought about it, how Boggs was capable to gather information and orchestrate the kidnaping, it wouldn’t be hard for him to find out some things about her as well. Public records, obituaries, connecting the facts. Mix some general assumptions with her fragile state, no wonder she believed in his lies disguised as prophecies. Perhaps Boggs’s words served as a warning and had some influence over the fact that she didn’t die on that bridge, but she didn’t go to bare witness to his death, he didn’t deserve the courtesy.  
She went to see Mulder, and felt comforted by the way balance was restoring itself between them. 

“Dana, after all you’ve seen, why can’t you believe?” Her decisions over the last few days baffled him, but she did it. Her faith helped her solve the case, so in the end it didn’t matter who was the skeptic and who was the believer, as long as they worked together.  
“I’m afraid to believe” she admitted. A week ago she wouldn’t dare to say that out loud, but what they learned from the experience was that they could be more than just partners.  
“You couldn’t face that fear? Even if it meant never knowing what your father wanted to tell you?”  
“But I do know” she assured him with a wistful smile.  
“How?”  
“He was my father”  
Mulder smiled and put his hand on her shoulder, glad to see her one step closer to her old self, his partner and his friend. His Scully.

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Leiascully’s October Fic Fest.


End file.
